I love how we’re all being deep
Coleen Guyo, Christine Anandappa, and Stacey Bien-Aime,
I have noticed that you are all not in the highest of spirits. As a friend, of course I would be upset if you are D: I know we don’t chill that much but know that I care for all of you.
I can’t come up with any cool quotes or super deep, amazing entries like how you guys do. But I wrote this in grade 9 when my friend was having a very difficult time because his grandmother was on life support. He was very close to her but there she was, lifeless on a hospital bed. His family had to decide whether to pull the plug. I wrote this for him and it helped him during his time of darkness. Even after a year, when she died, he remembered it and read it again and that made me very happy.
Life is fucking unfair. If it was fair, then men and women would take turns giving birth and everyone would live the same kind of house, have the same amount of money, and look all the same.
Life’s a total bitch sometimes. But in the end, we’ll still have to face some fucked up outcome. Sure, you can punch a few walls till they break down, scream out profanities, and lock yourself in a dark room for a long time to cry. Feel the way you do. Let it all out. But would your loved one want to see you this way? It’s okay to miss them. But now that they’re gone, smile for them, laugh for them, LIVE for them.
You’ll be faced with hard decisions and don’t have a clue on what to do. Remember all the good times you had and you’ll have strength to carry on. You may feel guilty living on, but I’m sure if that person really loved you, then they’d wish you happiness. For as long as they knew you, I’m sure they had always wished what’s best for you. Why would that change? Aren’t they the same person but just in a different place?
Death is part of life. We’ll all die someday. We’ll suffer. Remember that we are sinners. We’re all gonna have to carry our cross. But remember with dying, there’s resurrection. All the good that you did in your life will be rewarded in heaven. There’ll be no more pain, just peace.
But still you wonder on why someone had to die the way they did. I look through the newspapers seeing articles about innocent children dying everyday because of hunger and war, careless people who took away lives by doing one stupid careless mistake. Each second, another mother, father, child, aunt, uncle, friend, grandfather, and grandmother is taken away.
Why must such things happen? How could such nice people suffer? It’s total bullshit and seems fucked up no matter how you see it but what can we do? Nothing will change. I think that as long as we’re sinning, situations will get worse. Some people just don’t learn and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. Some people just have to learn the hard way. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe God is just trying to teach us a lesson. Does another incident like the bombing to the Twin Towers have to happen? Another Hurricane Katrina? Another tsunami? Maybe a World War III will happen?
Anyway I’m getting off topic. ^__^” My point is that we have to get through hard times. It fucking sucks but we have to. We may keep asking why over and over again but nothing will happen. Be STRONG, LIVE ON, BE HAPPY! I know that i started this by saying “Life is unfair. Life is a bitch.” But life is what you make it. A lot of people focus on how much problems they have. Doesn’t it feel way better to look at the happy times? Open your book of life and highlight the good things.
You may be saying, “What the fuck do you know?” Well, yeah I don’t know much but I’m just trying to offer help. Remember that I’m always for you because I’m your friend and i love you! =] <3We all want to work hard but somehow can’t find the motivation to do it. We think and feel too much that we are clouded by so many things that block us from getting where we want. Our insecurity prevents us from growing. We are scared to fail but also scared of happiness. We don’t want to loose. It’s all so confusing. Maybe it is just teenage angst or something funny in the water. Through my entry though, try to live your life to the fullest. Think of those who couldn’t have the privileges that you do. Live for them. Live the life that you were given.
Oh, Wife.. I love you! All four of us are DEFINATELY talking abnout this tomorrow when we go to Starbucks.
These kind of people.
Moments of realization are moments to live for. It just hits you, because you say to yourself: “Oh. Wow. I can’t believe I have this.” Because you see people around you who have it, who have whatever it is you want. It’s not materialistic; it’s something intangible you’ve been wanting all your life. But there are these rare moments, where we stop, and suddenly everything clicks. We do have it. It’s just in a different form, shape, package.
For example, it happened today with me. I’ve always thought that when a friendship or relationship doesn’t get exciting to the point where you’re eager, it’s practically.. just there. And over. I was wrong. That subsiding feeling is a good thing. Because that person has become apart of your life, and you don’t have to be anxious to see them because you know they’ll be there. It was the most amazing feeling; we had little things about us that we laughed at. We always kept smiling through our entire conversation. We mindlessly did all these things, and it’s what kept everything going. Even yesterday, they made me feel on top of the world. And I felt so lucky to have them in my life. You know how they say there will be that boy who will be right for you? There are friends who are like that too.
There are friends, and there are friends.
They just know you. You’re close enough that you jokingly insult each other. You’re close enough that by one contact of touch, they know that there’s something wrong. You’re close enough that you never feel embarrassed around them, and you feel like yourself; they make you who you are. Yes, we always must give ourselves credit too, but without these people, we would have never realized it in the first place.
I want you to understand.
You see, there’s this thing called human emotion. What it’s capable of is tremendous and frightening at the same time. To know it can soothe and subside the long term suffering of a person is bone chilling. To know it can crush and tear away the safety and dignity of a person is heart breaking.
It’s true when they say things are too good to be true. If something is immensely beautiful and wonderful, it can turn out to be one of the ugliest and horrible things. Just an opinion.
Compassion is one emotion that gets me all confused. It can be used wrongly in order for a favour in return.. or it can be used the right way out of empathy. I say this to my friends, and anyone who I’ve ever come across: I will never do you wrong in any way possible. I will always do my best to be there for you. If that means going to your first dance competition, I’m there. If it means holding you while you cry in my arms, I’m there. If it means missing Meryl Streep, I’m fucking there. That’s so hard to say, but it’s true. I’m not being cocky or full of myself; I just have this compassion, and I’m ready to give it to anyone who needs it.
I’m trying to return all the love that was given to me. That’s all I’ve been trying to do this whole time.
Awake & Alive.
Reminder to self: this picture needs to be showed to the entire universe. I’m over at MJ’s house at the moment. Just woke up from a seven hour slumber. In the entire history of sleeping over at her house and vice versa, this is the most sleep we EVER got. Sad thing since we’re 16, eh?
How am I awake without a parental figure yelling at me to wake up? Or my alarm clock bitching to me? How am I awake before 8AM, on a Sunday morning? The world must be coming to an end.
Come and go.
Yesterday I found out that Breanna was transffering to Fraser. So? You’re probably thinking. It’s a big so. As unalike her and I are, we are alike in so many ways. Our discussions philsophically just come out of nowhere, and we reach this level of understanding without even telling each other everything. But I can’t be selfish. Whenever we hang out, it doesn’t even feel like time flew by. It’s all right; I have her writings, and she has mine. Wish her all the best in her new school.
