Would you give it all up?

Sometimes, I’m unsure of how to approach a situation. So I go into it blank, expressionless, emotionless. But despite my effort, I feel something. I feel it, but don’t exactly know what it is. What could it be? Confusion? Infatuation? Care? Worry? Crisis? Oh, yes, a crisis. It’s just screaming for attention. But no.. it’s none of the above.

It’s fear.

When I’m unsure of how to approach a situation, I am afraid, terrified, frightened. Use the thesaurus for all the other words to expand your vocabulary. I am scared. But see, I don’t feel fear. I’ve taught myself to not feel this way. Fear does not make its way into my life nor does it exist. I’ve made sure to shut it out and never let it in.

In all honesty, I thought I was invulnerable to that emotion, going through more wars in my heart than I could imagine. So it was a shock to me to learn I was still capable of truly being afraid. Apparently, when the right person comes along, all your morals are thrown out the nearest window.

Fear is instilled in your veins, running through every inch, every hair of your body. And you react to it like you’ve always felt it, like it’s been hiding this whole time. And that’s when it hits you. Fear is created when you don’t know how to react. Because then you’d be out of your comfort zone, your little bubble of safety, and you’re actually taking a chance. A risk.