September 2011
1 post
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July 2010
1 post
I don't use this Tumblr anymore. Follow "Aposse" →
May 2010
1 post
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February 2010
4 posts
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January 2010
2 posts
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What it looks like here on my morningside.
I really thought I passed that stage in adolescence. The stage where you question everything about yourself. Not regarding your sexuality or interests, but everything. So it came as a shock to me to know that I, in fact, was in this stage - without even knowing it. Yes. I’m typical.
I don’t really like this, to be honest. But I assume it’s only fair for me to share the misery...
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Welcome.
I’ve decided that another Tumblr blog would be needed for Meryl Streep. Because she’s just that awesome. Let’s hope this’ll be successful? Yes/yes?
December 2009
5 posts
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Would you give it all up?
Sometimes, I’m unsure of how to approach a situation. So I go into it blank, expressionless, emotionless. But despite my effort, I feel something. I feel it, but don’t exactly know what it is. What could it be? Confusion? Infatuation? Care? Worry? Crisis? Oh, yes, a crisis. It’s just screaming for attention. But no.. it’s none of the above.
It’s fear.
When...
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It's probably the drugs talking.
I know where to find happiness; in my own voice, mind, and heart. It’s so hard to just look at yourself and what you’ve created.. it really is. Because there are so many things blocking your view: judgments, limits.
But I finally got to look at myself without all those things, and wow. I’m just in shock. I am happy. It’s the things around me that aren’t.
The vision...
November 2009
51 posts
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Betrayal.
There isn’t a feeling that hits you harder than this. I’ve felt it to an extent, because lies lead to betrayal, yes? I have this theory.. that at least once in your life, you will be betrayed to the point where everything just freezes.
You can’t talk, you can’t move, you can’t speak. No tears fall from your face, but disappointment seems to fill every pore of your...
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Afraid of expressing.
This feeling we get before we reveal our true emotions to another person is just killer. Because we planned everything exactly how it’s supposed to be, and what we’re supposed to say, but then.. when you’re in the moment.. your mind just goes blank. And it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating because you’re trying to get a hold of your life, and you’re trying...
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Lie to me.
Where do lies come from? Logical answer: Adam and Eve way back with that apple incident. My answer: Lies come from everything we do. They come from the people who feel the need that the truth isn’t exciting enough, right enough, or good enough. They were invented so no one would get “hurt”, when in reality, the longer lies live, the bigger and deeper the cut will be.
We tell...
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I love how we're all being deep
mpa387:
Coleen Guyo, Christine Anandappa, and Stacey Bien-Aime,
I have noticed that you are all not in the highest of spirits. As a friend, of course I would be upset if you are D: I know we don’t chill that much but know that I care for all of you.
I can’t come up with any cool quotes or super deep, amazing entries like how you guys do. But I wrote this in grade 9 when my friend was having a...
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Just so my head won't explode.
Okay guys. Don’t mind this. It’s just all my to-do’s, upcoming events, and general reminders for the next couple weeks. Not much, now that I think of it. Not true. Fuck, I have a shitload to do.
Nov 12 Dame Open House: stay in school until 8:30PM. Decorate G9G bulletin board. Drama: put all the articles and images up on bulletin board. Coleen-ify it. Math: test on sequences and...
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Thank You Timbits.
Who knew how hard it would be to do homework when you finally realize how good you have it? Take it from me, it’s very hard. Today I - again - realized how f**king blessed I am to have all these people around me. They care, and my heart melts at the thought of someone being able to understand me on that level.
So tomorrow, I’ve decided to come in early and give every person whose...
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Movie Quiz: I haven't done one of these since the...
1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times: Devil Wears Prada (Um, no duh.), Death Becomes Her, Mamma Mia!
2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in a theater: My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Paranormal Activity.
3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie: Meryl to the Streep!
4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie: Megan...
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A Universal Letter.
Dear Life,
Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I love you. Overall, I think about you because I live you. Your hardest lessons end up being the easiest for me to understand, if that makes sense. Because one day, I just get up, and the thought pops up in my mind. That’s why that happened. That’s why I had to do what I did. That’s why I’m here.
I’m just thankful for all...
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How Urban Dictionary Defines Meryl Streep.
This is just beyond true. You can’t deny it, you know it’s true. If Urban Dictionary says it to be true.. then believe it.
Meryl Streep: The sexiest 60 year old actress ever that many teenage girls feel an obligation to obsess over uncontrollably // Only the best actor on the face of the planet, you face-ass.
So much better than Dictionary.com’s definition
Meryl Streep: noun...
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I've said it, and I will never take it back.
I love you. In all ways platonic, and in every way profusely. Physical contact isn’t enough to express it, verbal indication isn’t enough to justify it. It just is. Even when I’m my worst, you make me feel my best. Even if I saw you 10 minutes ago, my stomach still churns at the thought of seeing you again. You have this effect on me; you’re like a drug. Your name comes up,...
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I feel love.
I have 15 minutes to write down a night’s worth of feelings. School does that to you. Last night was my school’s Open House, and as much as I dreaded it, I actually was looking forward to it. Don’t even ask. It’s unexplainable.
So a few hours later, after cutting out letters, posting up pictures, and running a damn marathon running errands for all the teachers (I’m...
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These kind of people.
Moments of realization are moments to live for. It just hits you, because you say to yourself: “Oh. Wow. I can’t believe I have this.” Because you see people around you who have it, who have whatever it is you want. It’s not materialistic; it’s something intangible you’ve been wanting all your life. But there are these rare moments, where we stop, and suddenly...
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I'm getting all cheesy.
Gossip. The six letter word that causes so much pain, regret, and brings out such nasty sides of a person.
You see, so many people are so concerned on what is said and written about them when it comes back to gossip. Me? I don’t care what anyone writes about me. I don’t care what anyone says about me. What do I care about? The wrong impressions that will be made on me. I don’t...
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Love.
How do you define love? How is it that this 4 letter word has so much meaning? It’s everywhere.. but not really. It is said everywhere, but meant in rarity. It is seen everywhere, but not so often felt. It is always talked about, but never shows up when it’s needed most.
The best way to describe love is by one word: indescribable. You can’t truly define it, you live it. It feels...
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Finally letting it out.
I’m happy and sad at the same time. It’s kind of confusing. Here I am, walking down the street, a smile across my face, laughing with my friends. And here I am, sitting by myself, wondering what in God’s name has made me feel so low. If this is the definition of bipolar, label me, I don’t care. That entitlement won’t make me feel any better about this. It feels like...
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I want you to understand.
You see, there’s this thing called human emotion. What it’s capable of is tremendous and frightening at the same time. To know it can soothe and subside the long term suffering of a person is bone chilling. To know it can crush and tear away the safety and dignity of a person is heart breaking.
It’s true when they say things are too good to be true. If something is immensely...
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Starving.
That feeling is back. That feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m starting not to think of this as some anxiety, but when I think of something, and someone in particular.. I just go all off. This sounds so cliche, but it’s crazy how someone can make you feel, isn’t it? I never thought I’d ever find the right words to express this emptiness I’ve been feeling.. but...
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Can't put a name to it.
Before I pass out from fatigue.. I just want to say how much I love Meryl Streep. She’s just overall amazing. And it’s unexplainable, this feeling I get when I see her. It’s like hope; to be as inspiring as her one day. She will truly never know the extent of her words, actions, and self.
It's for you.
Have you ever tried to describe to someone one of the best experiences in your life? Does it always end in, “You know what I mean?” “No.. not really.”
And I used to get so upset over it, the fact that no one “understood” me. But there’s a difference. Understanding is good when you’re feeling low and need someone there. Understand isn’t so...
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“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.”
– Meryl Streep | Can’t be anymore true. This is what I realized today, it’s what I now understand.
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Dear Stacey & Christine:
“How does it feel? To know you’ve tried everything in this world to keep everything the same, but it will never be strong enough to stop it. To know that the one person you’ve been trusting your whole life is slowly drifting away, and you’re the only one to notice it. How does it feel when you see people around you, different, happier than before. Different, and happier...
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Limits.
This whole ‘forbidden’ thing is something I’m beginning to dislike. I mean, we’ve been told to get what we want, to strive for it. But that doesn’t necessarily apply to all entities. If you want chocolate, you’re allowed to get it. But if you want chocolate and you’re diabetic, you’re forbidden. This whole entitlement thing really does just get to...
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I never shoot to tell, I only shoot to kill.
It just baffles me how much potential a person can have. What baffles me even more is their dismissal of it. We’re only 16, I know. But come on! It’s there, you have it, and you throw it away like a week old newspaper! Lately I’ve been going across a lot of people who have been ‘troubled’ in some way. We’re in totally different cliques, different styles and...
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Explaining the unexplainable.
I’m incredibly scared right now. Again. I don’t want to call Ms. Jack and cry to her about what I’m feeling and what’s happening to me, no. I want to write it out and explain to myself how this is all actually going around.
Why am I so unhappy? Why am I so analytical of things? I feel like a clingy girlfriend who watches her boyfriend’s every move and tracks it down....
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"Have I ever told you that you smelled like...
Today was a waste. It was a day to relax, and attempt to stay home and do my project. I just got home from the doctor’s and it’s 2PM. There’s no point. It’s like I went to school.
Turns out, the doctor thinks something is wrong with me and now I have to go take a blood test. My brother has to carry around this little machine with him that monitors his heart. He’s...
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Even the devil wouldn't recognize you.
Between my last Tumblr post and now, everything has hit me. And I am freaking out. And I am panicking. And I am scared. There, I said. I’m scared. Because I don’t know what to do next.
My cell phone has died. Bad thing. Ms. Jack’s number is on there. And I need to call her ASAP. Because I have promised her if I ever needed her, I would call her. There is something wrong with me...